One of my favorite scenes in “Coming to America” is when Eddie Murphy, after a date with his love interest Lisa, parades through streets, shouting out:
Someone to care.
Someone to share.
Lonely hours and moments of despair.
To be loved, to be loved.
Oh what a feeling to be loved!
I sang this song aloud after receiving a package in the mail from one of my best friends. Before I reveal what was inside, it’s important for me to share more context for my excitement. A week prior to me receiving her package, my friend sent me the following text:
Hey Jawnie (that’s our nickname for one another), when you get a chance send me your new address and share a list of items you need to help you feel good as you work on your dissertation.
I sent her the list with no expectation. Her message alone showed her intentions, which were incredibly thoughtful. A week later, I received a pack of Hair, Skin, and Nail vitamins that I’d been wanting to try for months. It was the item on the list I wanted the most. Shout out to the friends who know and see us deeply, fully, and wholly.
I should also note that the crewneck sweatshirt I’m wearing in the featured photo for this blog entry was gifted to me recently by another bestie-sister-friend. The sweatshirt highlights brilliant Black women writers, so I wear it every Tuesday to remind myself of what’s possible.
I am blessed to be surrounded by a sisterhood that has sustained me throughout my PhD journey. It looks like:
- Black girl group chats. Shout out to “Hey Girl Hey,” “Sisters in Scholarship,” “Melanin in Motion,” “Scholars Who Kiki,” and the many others that I read and sometime leave on unread (sorry y’all!). These are spaces where I theorize, sip tea, throw and receive shade and everything in between.
- Lengthy phone calls and FaceTimes that make me grateful for Verizon’s unlimited data plan.
- “Just checking in”/”I’m proud of you” texts.
- Friends reading and editing my writing (including this blog!).
- Work sessions on zoom. Because watching my people go hard makes me want to join them!
The love I receive from beloved friends, mentors, and family reminds me that my platonic relationships are a gift worthy of the type of celebration Prince Akeem romanticizes. I do not think we celebrate this type of love enough. My loved ones mean the world to me. I will name them all when I have the spaciousness and capacity to ensure that everyone receives the honor they deserve, but for now, I just want to say thank you for keeping me in this process. Thank you for reminding me that celebration is in the everyday and in the process, not just the milestones and big achievements. Thank you for being my mirror by helping me to see who I am in the moments when this process clouds my vision. Thank you for reminding me what truly matters to me — my relationships with y’all.
With love and so much gratitude,
Mimi